Idling in neutral

So we went to book Jesus for Christmas, but oh was he angry and cross get outa my face go and give me some space we left I think this is his loss. Gabriel is starring in Godspell that’s all well and good for him it looks like no party for Christmas, which is a…

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Near enough to cheer

Not long to go are you listening for sleigh bells can you hear Ho, Ho, Ho are you hoping for snow? Do you have that Yuletide glow? Some don’t Some do but I’m guessing they’ll all be wishing you a very Merry Christmas. (breaking news) Bethlehem’s updated not a stable I could see if Mary…

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Merry Christmas darling

  Did you guess what he was bringing you were you good the whole year through? Hoofs that trampled softly on the snow that lay heavy on the roofs of years ago I remember too. We rolled time up and put it in a snowman’s hands and watched for dad to climb the hill when…

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Self inflicted

while there is still time to rattle off a rhyme I think that’s what I’ll do are you still in bed? don’t get out until you have read this got any mistletoe so I can steal a kiss? (sometimes kisses are in short supply so the ones that I steal are put by for a…

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More electric soup

I try to believe that ultimate power is held by the populace, but facing the facts I can see it’s not true. The state holds our fate in its hands. Political treason, a butchery beggaring belief and a thief of all reasoning Homeless numbers up and yet on the up they’re still going down London’s…

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On the tiles

Who could spend any more than the evening before when the morning finds you looking like this? I could have given it a miss stayed in with the cats played blind man’s buff and driven myself bats but I took the plunge because I’m brave. Money all gone and yet John is still here. all…

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Carol 49

Does this Christmas feel real? do you want to deck the halls or deck the local copper? is it merry gentlemen or doped up mental men? and is Santa just a voyeur? Will the saviour save me from the DWP? A friend sends me a Christmas card a picture on it of a crib, some…

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Universal credit

I see Santa buying something in the second aisle at Sainsbury’s he’s trying to be inconspicuous but Rudolph gives the game away. I wonder what it was he bought? Because Santa doesn’t have a Santa, did you ever stop to think of that? because I just thought of that. Perhaps he got some aftershave buy…

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Dilemma junction

What if it doesn’t snow how then will we know that it’s Christmas? baubles and bangles that dangle don’t mean much without that touch of magic. But the homeless hope less for the snow and more for the Sun, I understand the predicament they are in, bin surfing is like sofa surfing except in bins…

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Carol’s sister Brenda

There are no ghosts no Christmas past only flashes we can’t recognise because they go to fast. There is no present underneath the tree because we sold the future in order to be free. This conversation’s for one, a solo operation, an under occupied occupation it’s always a vacant situation when the empty cab’s for…

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The vows

  When you want to know when it offends when you ask   Listen. can you hear me floating   I am sometime in somewhere and where I don’t know don’t want to be here yet don’t want to go.   can you only hear me when you’re near me?   I can hear your…

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Forgotten lines

Tesco’s jammed Asda’s rammed Sainsbury’s dropping like ham off the bone I’m heading home to the market town getting down with the real stuff. I hope the still’s still there and breathing steam into the cold night air well you’ve got to have a tipple or two, you.. (..they should have put that in Oliver)…

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Snowdrop mountains

It was the night before the night before the day that we were waiting for, lots more time to sit and wonder what it was that Santa had hid under his belt, anyway the day would come and we’d get up to have that fun and dad would say, ooh how nice, dark rum, even though…

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Christmas is just Woolworth’s for Christians

Pretty baubles that dangle, a Babyliss that untangles  the knots in your hair not a bible anywhere (unless they’re sold under the counter) and the packaging they wrap things in if they wrap things up at all tied up in another knot with string from a giant ball. I’ve seen a sight or two or three…

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That time of year

plum pudding looks good in a custardy coat beer, brandy and for the alcohol free lemonade shandy It’s great that Jesus was born in December the January sales wouldn’t work in September which leads me to think this plan was thought out and that’s what those three wise men are about, but while the turkeys…

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Fiddlesticks

Rudolph is stuck to the roof tiles Father asleep on the chair Santa is having some egg nog Mother is doing her hair, the children are all on the iPad something that I never had, all I ever got was Scalextric and that used to drive me quite mad. All the mince pies and the…

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Sick note

Down in snowman school where they learn how not to melt, well what fool goes in there? ‘Not I,’ I hear the snowball say, but as I watch the snowball trickles trickles effortlessly deathly which don’t ‘alf depress me away. So snowmen go to school and learn how to melt with dignity, a touch of…

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The dead letter box

It was not about the wise men or Bethlehem or gifts of gold or old spice aftershave or who if anyone at all could save the most. jesus was hijacked, painted white brought to the West and ‘Bob’s yer uncle’ the rest is history. His story being lost along the way. In the Kingdom of…

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