French toast

I need a shave
but I might save that
for later.

Does anyone out there hear
the ringing in my ears?

When I closed my eyes and
you couldn’t see me,
when I was a baby
it was
simpler then.

and now I’m swimming in a reservoir
there and back to see how far I go.

Putting my thoughts into some semblance
attending an
assembly where someoneĀ resembles me or
in a line up to sentence me to more of the same?

One step and one more and open the bedroom door
follow the sign to the kitchen,
there was a time when I needed nothing
and then there was always something
but now I can’t remember
anything and
this is what loss feels like,

I fear
that I will disappear without a trace and
maybe that’s the demon we all face.

© 2018, John Smallshaw.