4 years old today

Apartment 10

I stood there on the cusp of something 
on the day the world was ending,
at her doorstep, she was waiting for this rag doll of a body,
but the bobcat of my mind was tightly sprung
as if the clockwork had malfunctioned and it wound into the ether where infinity existed
and that day I wrote her name in stars across the milky way
she smiled at me.

It never changed the course of things,
the ship set sail across the seas and it was later
that I realized the sea was me
in sail across the oceans of her eyes,

her lips were signed in silver and I took the chance to kiss her but it blinded me in darkness and the stars that she had given, were so cruelly taken from me by some sailor on the port side and
she smiled.

There was time and then was nothing and the nothing filled with laughter which then rolled across the ocean and I knew the moment after she would smile but then the thunder of the beating of my heart kept me from sleeping,

so, wide-eyed I watched the ending and it seemed like a beginning where I stood there on the cusp of something greater than the being and the being wasn’t anywhere at all.

She stood there on the doorstep and the whole thing kept repeating as if the universe was cheating me of a final Armageddon,
she just smiled.

© 2019, John Smallshaw.