Division one

  Sam, the Arsenal fan was next to Fred who’d lost his head at a West Ham game, the referee had the centre plot shot dead at the penalty spot.   save me from the football graveyard? you couldn’t if you tried…

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The clockwork train set

..and then there’s the portal through which I sometimes hurtle, the eye looking in on the I looking out. Put all your eggs in one basket but don’t be surprised when you end up with lots of chicks. Quite neatly graffiti on the wall I fall into, Kilroy was here but not before me. So…

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