Just this

Dear Santa,For this Christmas of 2020I’d like some spaceand I’d really like plentyandif there’s room in your sackI’d like to go backto Christmas,1964…

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More from misery guts

Leave out a drink for Santa?yeah!that’s about as likely as chestnutsroasting by an open fireand it does seem to be the seasonfor an open fire,big guns on a no-deal from those who don’t feel as if they’re quite the ticket and it is anyway a bit leg before wicket init?no ballsare balls, but they don’t…

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When the clock strikes the God spot

Almost time to start praying, start saying those things and hope Jesus brings me a present, oh no, wait, that’s Santa I’m thinking of. Sunday though is creeping up and I know it’ll catch me snatch me and I will end up in a church. But there’s still fifteen minutes before the Sabbath time enough…

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Carol 49

Does this Christmas feel real? do you want to deck the halls or deck the local copper? is it merry gentlemen or doped up mental men? and is Santa just a voyeur? Will the saviour save me from the DWP? A friend sends me a Christmas card a picture on it of a crib, some…

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Universal credit

I see Santa buying something in the second aisle at Sainsbury’s he’s trying to be inconspicuous but Rudolph gives the game away. I wonder what it was he bought? Because Santa doesn’t have a Santa, did you ever stop to think of that? because I just thought of that. Perhaps he got some aftershave buy…

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Americano legends

Who can I blame but the ghosts who dismantle my brain while I sleep, if I wake they’re not there but I know where they’ll be and that’s behind every person who is laughing at me, anxiety? who’s anxious? At the most peculiar times when Jupiter aligns with whatever planet there happens to be, stars…

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